A Poem for Recruiters [ Edited ]

[Another Person]

Dear recritters, 
This poem is for you. 
******************************

Hello I found your resume 
On Dice.com 
Please update it 
So I know where you're coming from

Send me your profile 
and LinkedIn Page too 
I have a great job 
That is perfect for you!

Do it right away 
Time is running out 
For this excellent opportunity 
I'm so excited I can shout

A day goes by, 
no, two, thee, no five!!! 
I wonder if this recruiter 
is even alive!

I did what they asked 
In such a hurried task 
But they leave me here 
like a half drunk flask

I never heard back 
From the recruiter again 
GeeWiz 
I thought they were my friend

But recruiters are scoundrels 
Each and every one! 
They love to lie 
They do it for fun!

[0xFFFFFFFF]

hot opportunity

please send me your resume

and tell me your price

[0xFFFFFFFF]

they screwed it up bad

now they need a big hero

who will fix it cheap

[0xFFFFFFFF]

genuises only

with ten years experience

on this years release

[acp19809]

---

0xFFFFFFFF wrote:

genuises only

with ten years experience

on this years release

---

10 years experience on this years release.  Classic!  I almost spat my ice tea on the keyboard....

[Baltar]

Recruit in Suit!!!

Whiteboards and blackberries,

Send your resume, please hurry,

Nevermind the rates or the contracts,

Here is our address your interview will be at,

Openings are rare, can you be here tomorrow?

Actually, do you have a friend's email address I could borrow?

My client is fortune-500, big body shop,

If you are American, you know you have no shot,

I need to see you face-to-face,

But in reality I need to keep you in my database,

Jobs there are, but not for you,

Please don't delete my message, I need work too!!!!

For the past V-Day!!!

Deleted Mail is red, forwarded is blue,

Guess what this recruiter has in store for you?

Artifical leads and clients for you to pursue,

My name is ______ it is hard to pronounce,

A non-job without question, in fact, never doubt,

When can you start, that is my question?

The rate is so low, you should change professions!!!

I am a musician outside of IT, maybe take a stab at it?

[tcb2010]

"Are any of your friends experts in C?

I got great jobs for them, yes siree..."

So I told him to e-mail Kernighan and Ritchie...

[wizgod]

This one is funny. I remember studying those two guys in college for that nifty new computer science thingy. They were a hoot.

[wizgod]

Hey now. All recruiters are good. Hehehe

[nobody]

Love the haikus, hexman.  Fantastic!